she loves ny guide to etiquette and the like
doors & doorways
The Urban Gentleman will make every effort to have the lady touch
doors as infrequently as possible, when he is in her presence. Further,
the gentleman will orchestrate this effort in such a way that the lady
realizes only in her subconscious the diminished effort that she is exerting
as she moves though rooms, areas, and buildings. Finally, the gentleman
will pay close attention to the order in which the lady and gentleman,
respectively, move through a doorway. In groups, the gentleman will be
the last through a doorway, except in extreme situations in which, for
whatever reason, this order is clumsiest of all.
Heading himself through a doorway first does not a gentleman
make. The gentleman knows, therefore, that the lady's positioning with
respect to the door handle is crucial; he will make sure that she is on
the handle side of all doors, regardless of whether they hinge in or out.
2.1 Logistics, Outwardly Hinged Doors
If a door hinges out, the gentleman knows that this positioning
will allow him to bring the door towards him as he opens it for the lady,
providing her with a pathway through the door that is not obstructed by
the gentleman's arm. He will guide her through the door if need be by
combining a proper open with a gentle touch of the lady's lower back.
Inwardly Hinged Doors
If a door hinges in, especially if it's a heavy glass door with
spring-controlled movement, the gentleman knows that in this door he’s
met his arch nemesis. Nonetheless, he will maintain his composure. The
gentleman will block the lady's path to the door and doorway with his
extended arm. He will lean into the door, opening it as he moves into,
by not beyond, the threshold of the door. With his arm and hand that are
not on the handle of the door, he will gently touch the lady's lower back
to indicate that it is clear for her to move through the doorway.
The gentleman will practice these choreographies until he can dance with
grace and until these dances last no more than 1/2 a second.
3.0 Special Circumstances, Revolving Doors
The revolving door is a gift for the gentleman. Not only does
it eliminate the need for him to anticipate his and her positioning, but
it provides an opportunity for flirtation: once in her portion of the
revolving door, the gentleman can hold her there by stopping the door
behind her. If he keeps her there only long enough for her to realize
that the door has stopped, she will be amused with the gentleman's stunt.
The gentleman should be cautioned, however. Should he keep the lady in
the door for even one tenth of a second more than is appropriate, she
will become annoyed by both the time wasted as a result of and the immaturity
inherent to the stunt.
3.1 Special Circumstances, Double Doors
The gentleman will first address the issue of the outside of
two doors. Given ample time, he will be able to lead lady appropriately
though both doors; without this time, however, it is acceptable for the
lady to begin opening the second door on her own, only to have the gentleman
finish the job when he arrives.
3.2 The European Gentleman Strikes Again
The European Gentleman will tell the American gentleman that
when the lady and the gentleman enter an unknown space – the European
might cite a bar as an example of one of these – it is the gentleman
who leads the way through the doorway. The American gentleman will acknowledge
that the European may be onto something and will at times employ this