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the she loves ny guide to etiquette and the like

dating: the 15 second hypothesis


1.0 Summary
The gentleman is aware that the 15 Second Hypothesis rightly states that within 15 seconds of their initial face to face introduction the gentleman will have made a determination about his desire, or lack there of, to better know and eventually bed his blind date. As such, after these 15 seconds, the circumstance of the date being “blind” will no longer be of any consequence and he will immediately either transition mentally into his strategy for a first date or he will sit with the lady long enough that his initial determination remains masked.

2.0 Logistics
The gentleman knows that it will take no more than 15 seconds for him to have made a determination about his relative desire to better know and eventually bed his blind date. Because he is aware of this at the outset, he will make every effort to hide his determination when it is made, but implement his secondary strategy as quickly and seamlessly as possible.

2.1 Logistics, If The Lady Has Caught The Gentleman’s Attention
If the lady has caught the gentleman’s attention, in other words if he finds himself attracted to her, he will immediately treat the encounter as a first date and prepare himself mentally for the engagement.

2.2 Logistics, If It Is Not Meant To Be
The Urban Gentleman understands that if it is not meant to be, that is if his initial determination is that his and the lady’s will be a platonic encounter, he will simply behave as a gentleman would when he dines out. He will be conversational, order skillfully, and in various ways be sure the lady is made to feel comfortable. In this scenario, however, the gentleman will be sure that he does not initiate any meaningful flirtation.

3.1 Special Situations, The Family Friend/Friend of a Friend
Should the gentleman be on a blind date with a family friend or friend of a friend, he will make particularly certain that he adheres to the above section of this chapter. The biggest risk the gentleman faces on blind dates of this ilk is not the date itself; it is the risk of a bad report on the date being disseminated by the lady to friends and/or relatives the lady and the gentleman have in common. Indeed, an impeccable reputation is among the Urban Gentleman’s greatest assets.